Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Mother's Day Musings

I've been thinking a lot about Mother's Day this week. Maybe it's because my co-worker just lost her mom early last week. But it's been on my mind.

Like most individuals, I have an interesting and unique relationship with my mom. She's never been officially diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), but she has many of the hallmark signs and symptoms. When my nephew was diagnosed with ADHD, it was as if a light bulb went on in my head. Suddenly, some of my mother and brother's crazy behavior made sense to me. But in spite of her sometimes crazy behavior, my mom is a great mom.

A few years ago, I sent my mom flowers for Mother's Day. She called me to thank me. But instead of telling me that some of the orchids were wilted when they arrived, she kept silent for weeks, because she didn't want to seem ungrateful. Later, when she asked me not to send her flowers anymore, I thought she was just being frugal and didn't like the fact that I'd paid for shipping. But when I dug a bit deeper, I got the real reason out of her, and then I was pretty annoyed. If she had told me about the wilted flowers right away, I could have easily called the florist and asked them to replace the order. Most florists have a money back guarantee.

Anyway, the following year, I decided to 'learn' from my mistake and sent her a plant instead because my mom loves gardening and she has a very green thumb. Well, the plant arrived on time and in good condition, with healthy and vibrant leaves. And although my mom grumbled about the cost, she was pretty happy about least initially. To this day, my mom gives me grief about that plant because it never flowered.

So, this year for Mother's Day, I bought my mom a sweater, and hand delivered it to her last week. She seemed pretty happy with the sweater. It was something that she needed to round out her wardrobe. But somehow, it didn't sit well with me. It didn't seem like enough. Does that makes sense? I wanted to lavish her with something that she wouldn't normally buy for herself, to make her feel special. And I wanted to let her know how much I love her and appreciate her and all that she's done for me. Like I said, maybe it's my co-worker's recent experience that is weighing heavily on my mind. But I'm just not sure how much longer my mom will be with me. Longevity runs in the family, but you just never know.

So, I'm back to my old tricks again. Last night, I hopped online and ordered two dozen roses and a box of truffles for my mom. Hopefully, she won't complain about the cost.

Anyway, this is a shout out to all the moms out there. Happy Mother's Day (a few days early). And for all you slackers out there who still haven't ordered presents for your moms, get to it! Life is short. Take the opportunity to appreciate your loved ones while you can.

* Update 5/12/06 - The flowers arrived today. And predictably, the first words out of my mom's mouth were 'You shouldn't have spent so much money! I told you not to send me flowers anymore.' But then she followed it up by thanking me profusely for sending them. So, I know that she was secretly pleased.

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